By The Way
by Lightbringer88
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart. He lost his memory and has gone half insane. How is it like? A crazy songfic for a crazy man


By The Way.  
  
Disclaimer: Everything here is not mine. 'By the Way' belongs to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling  
  
A/N: This is Gilderoy Lockhart, after he has been sent to hospital after that Reversed Memory Charm.  
  
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Standing in line  
  
To see the show tonight  
  
And there's a light on  
  
Heavy glow  
  
I didn't know what was I doing here. In this building called, what's that? Ah, yes. St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and injuries. I really didn't know. Well, I didn't even know what my name was, until somebody told me that my name was Gilderoy Lockhart. Weird eh? That's it. It's really strange, people telling me things about myself and I don't even know anything.  
  
By the way I tried to say  
  
I'd be there  
  
Waiting for  
  
People walk around me talk to me and tell me things, like telling me to recall all the wonderful deeds I had done. What deeds?  
  
Dani the girl  
  
Is singing songs to me  
  
Beneath the marquee  
  
Overload  
  
The nurse over here is always very nice. She uses a weird wooden stick, which I think it's an experimental healing rod, about ten inches long. She always says a codeword and then taps it on my head. Strange thing about it though, was that every time she did it, my mind would clear, and I would get a small recollection of something.  
  
Steak knife... Card Shark... Con Job... Boot Cut  
  
But the white fog would always come back. The white fog in my mind that seemed to prevent me from thinking properly and remembering who I was! It's so darn frustrating.  
  
Skin that flick  
  
She's such a little DJ  
  
Get there quick  
  
By street but not the freeway  
  
Turn that trick  
  
To make a little leeway  
  
Beat that nic  
  
But not the way that we play  
  
It's all so confusing.. My head seems to want to explode. It's like trying to run through a concrete wall, only this time, it's a mental block. AHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Dog Town... Blood Bath... Rib Cage... Soft Tail...  
  
Hurting.Head.Hurts.want a doctor.not those old fools in those ridiculous robes! Get me a doctor, with the lab coat and stethoscope. I don't want those experimental healing rods near me! I just want plain old medicine!  
  
Standing in line  
  
To see the show tonight  
  
And there's a light on  
  
Heavy glow  
  
By the way I tried to say  
  
I'd be there  
  
Waiting for  
  
Wait.The pain has stopped.There's no more pain! Hooray! It must have been these dumb healing rods. They must be radioactive or something. And when I asked, you know what? They DARED to laugh! How could they? When we all know there's no such thing as magic!  
  
Black Jack... Dope Dick... Pawn Shop... Quick Pick...  
  
Oh no! It's them! They're here again! Those stupid housewives again! They just barged into this place like that? Haven't this place got any security? Uh oh...they just cornered me. Argh! No! Rotten tomatoes, banana skins and orange peels all thrown at me! No!  
  
Kiss that Dyke  
  
I know you want to hold one  
  
Not on strike  
  
But I'm about to bowl one  
  
Bite that mic  
  
I know you never stole one  
  
Girls that like  
  
A story so I told one  
  
What did I do? They told me that I had tricked them. Tricked them with what? Tricked them with a fake story? What fake story? I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON HERE!!! Somebody help me!  
  
Song Bird... Main Line... Cash Back... Hard top...  
  
Oh, thank goodness, some of the security's here. Hang on, they're using those healing rods...What are they doing? Healing them? Wait, this time they're using a different code word...Oh! Cords of rope just sprung out and caught those housewives...That proves my point about how untrustworthy those rods are, right? Phew! Guess I better go shower. I really stink.  
  
Standing in line  
  
To see the show tonight  
  
And there's a light on  
  
Heavy glow  
  
The water spraying from the showerhead was cool and refreshing. Strange thing was, the minute I was undressed and ready, the shower automatically came on! Anyhow, they had this nice smelling soap that washed everything- from smells to stains-away! I wish this kind of soap were out in the market. I don't remember it being out...Oh, yeah, because I can't remember anything at all.  
  
By the way I tried to say  
  
I'd be there...  
  
Waiting for  
  
While wiping myself dry, I heard the nurse that was attending to me call. She was saying something about some visitors wanting to see me and see if I was doing well. I gave her an okay, and then clothed myself before I went out.  
  
Dani the girl  
  
Is singing songs to me  
  
Beneath the marquee  
  
Oversold  
  
By the way I tried to say  
  
I knew you  
  
From before  
  
The minute I stepped out, my head began hurting again. It hurt a lot more this time. But the white fog was starting to clear! I looked up and at once, the white fog vanished. That boy in front of me...that red-haired boy...with the freckles and all. "RONALD WEASLEY! YOU CAUSED ME TO LOSE MY MEMORY!" I screamed and leapt at his throat with my outstretched hands.  
  
Standing in line  
  
To see the show tonight  
  
And there's a light on  
  
Heavy glow  
  
By the way I tried to say  
  
I'd be there  
  
Waiting for...  
  
As I leapt towards him, while my hands wrapped around his throat, I heard the security guards nearby shout out a code word. It sounded like stupid fly. Whatever. Ronald Weasley would die this time. Just as my hands started to squeeze, two hot and painful blasts connected with my back and my world went black, save for that whitish fog which slowly descended upon my mind again.  
  
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A/N: Aha. Finally we are done. Finale! Now for your reviews, criticism and flames! Thank you. Oh, and for the last time, could someone tell me how to change fonts, italics, etc so that it can show on the darned upload? 


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